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고민이야 ㅠ

익명5b0446 | 2017.03.15 18:31:06 | 조회 765


내가 원래 4명이서 다니다가
성격이 안맞아서 둘씩 나뉘게 되서 친구 한명이랑 같이 다녀
근데 그 친구랑 다른 반이 되어있어
그래서 다른 동기들이랑 나랑 밥먹기도 하고 놀기도 하는데 나는 딱히 나서서 억지로 친해지고 싶은 성격이 아니야
지금도 나름 잘 적응하고 있고
걘 내가 없으니깐 허전하고 쓸쓸하대
뭐랄까..걔 눈엔 내가 적응 못하는 애로 보였나봐
다른동기들이 자기랑 식사할때 나도 부르라고 해서
그래서 걔들한테 고맙다는데 나는 동정받는 기분도 들고 뭔가 걔한테 짐이라고 느껴지더라
다른 사람들이랑 같이 있을땐 나와 일절 말도 안하거든
난 솔직히 요새 내가 아는 친구가 아닌 것같아
얘는 날 다 꿰뚫어본다는 듯이 요새 힘드니? 어떠니 하고 자주 물어봐 고맙지. 내성적인 나니깐
솔직히 같이 있어도 마음은 딴 곳에 가있다고
느껴지는게 한 둘이 아니야
혹은 빈 말 일 지도 모르겠다는...
내가 자격지심인거니, 비켜줘야하는거니
익명19e18b 03.15 20:56 | 신고 | 수정 | 삭제
불편하면 어쩔수 없죠
글로만 봤을땐 님이 거부반응이 심한건지 상대가 너무 오지랍을 떠는지 확인이 안되긴한데..

나중에 님한테 혼자 감당하기 힘든일이나 위로를 받아야하거나 축하를 받아야할 날이 온다고 가정했을때 그 애가 있는게 좋은지 아닌게 좋은지 생각해보세요.

자기을 돋보이게 하기 위해 님을 걱정하는건지
진심으로 님을 걱정하는건지

아무리 개인적이고 소극적인 성격이래도 진짜 맘터놓고 지내는 친구 몇명쯤은 필요한거 같음 살면서
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익명f8d317 06.01 10:01 | 신고 | 수정 | 삭제

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